1. “IT’S A GUY THING”.
Means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical”.
2. “CAN I HELP WITH THE DINNER?”
Means: “Why isn’t it already on the table?”
3. “UH HUH SURE, BABY” OR “YES, BABY”
Means: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
4. “I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST… I JUST HAVE LOTS OF THINGS ON MY MIND”.
Means: “Is that woman over there wearing a bra?”
5. “TAKE A BREAK, BABY. YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD”.
Means: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner”.
6. “THAT’S INTERESTING, BABY”.
Means: “Are you still talking?”
7. “YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS”.
Means: “I remember the theme song of the Titanic movie, the address of the other girl, the license plate number of every vehicle I’ve ever owned, but can’t remember your birthday”.
8. “I DON’T KNOW… I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND I GOT YOU THESE ROSES”.
Means: “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe”.
9. “I’VE GOT MY REASON FOR WHAT I’M DOING”.
Means: “… and I sure hope I think of some soon”.
10. “I HEARD YOU”
Means: “I have no idea what you just said and I’m hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t find out”.
11. “YOU LOOK TERRIFIC”.
Means: “Oh God, please don’t try on MORE clothes”.
12. “I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE”.
Means: “We are hopelessly lost and no one will see us alive again.”
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